Regan Hofmann writes about being HIV-positive in her memoir.
When we heard about the possible new AIDS vaccine from Thailand, the doctor on the morning program we were watching singled out sex workers and drug users as those at risk for HIV. We knew that a few weeks earlier, we wouldn’t have worried that the statement unfairly marginalized those who were HIV-positive, or that it made AIDS seem like a distant problem. But we had just finished reading I Have Something to Tell You (Atria Books, 2009), the new memoir by Regan Hofmann, who writes about her life after she was diagnosed as HIV-positive in 1996. Beautiful, successful and intelligent, Hofmann is proof that HIV can happen to anyone. She became infected at age 28 while in a relationship with a man who didn’t know he was HIV-positive.
Hofmann is now editor-in-chief of POZ, the leading HIV/AIDS magazine in the United States, where she disclosed her HIV-positive status on a 2006 cover, with the quote, “I am no longer afraid to say, ‘I have HIV.’ ” But before Hofmann became an advocate, she was simply a woman recovering from divorce and enjoying a getaway with her mother and sister, swimming with dolphins in the Florida Keys. As she recounts in her book, she discovered upon her return that she was HIV-positive. Her journey takes us through her shock, anger, shame, fear of rejection by friends and potential boyfriends, and survivor guilt when the year she was initially given to live extended much further. It’s also an engaging story of Hofmann figuring out how to live with HIV and those who helped her along the way.
Hofmann’s fears of rejection and the judgments of others eventually gave way to a different type of fear that brought her to POZ and led her to go public: She was “afraid that AIDS — a disease that infects more than 56,000 Americans a year — was being portrayed by the American media as ‘under control’; afraid that women, people of color, young people and people over the age of 50 didn’t know they were at significant risk for contracting HIV.”
For more information about the importance of HIV testing, please read our story “Doctors to Women: Know Your HIV Status.” Do you think that AIDS has taken a back seat in public concern? Do too many people think that the disease can’t happen to them?
Tags: advocate, AIDS, AIDS denialism, Biology, disease, editor-in-chief, Florida Keys, Health/Medical/Pharmaceuticals, HIV, HIV/AIDS, HIV/AIDS in the People's Republic of China, Human Interest, Medicine, Microbiology, POZ, Pozemni Stavitelstvi Zlin as, Regan Hofmann, shock, Social Issues, Thailand, United States
© 2012, VIV Publishing, LLC., All rights reserved. 
3 Reader Comments:
Certainly Ms. Hofmann’s fears have been realized as evidenced by the rising rate of HIV among young people in particular. Many of them have never seen anyone they know die of AIDS. To these teens and young adults, HIV/AIDS is a controlled and controllable chronic illness which even seduces some who are so inclined to consider deliberately acquiring the virus as a way to get over on the system and have their lives subsidized. Don’t get me wrong; it’s great that people can get treated for the virus and have meds that prolong the length and quality of their lives. But HIV rates will continue to soar among various population groups unless people can be convinced that everyone is at risk to contract the virus. No, there is no cure for it. I hope Ms. Hofmann’s book succeeds in ringing the alarm and waking up so many of us who are still sleeping on this virus.
Also diagnosed in 1996, I am now a middle-aged mom who by any standard was always a “good girl”. I never used drugs and I wasn’t promiscuous by any means. I can still count on one hand the number of partners I’ve had. I am also not a victim of the disease in that I did not get it through a medical miss-hap. I simply had ONE moment of poor judgment in 1985, which changed my life in a single moment on August 8, 1996. I too was given 1-2 years to live, but thanks to the advancement in medication, I am living a relatively “normal” HIV+ life.
I always thought that I was the worse example of why protection should ALWAYS be used because by any standard, I am living a wonderful life. In fact, I have a new appreciation for every day I’m alive. I almost make HIV appear to be “no big deal” because I am so blessed. The ability to call this a managed disease has created a complacency that is very dangerous. The lack of education in the communities and schools is frightening.
For the last few years, I was the horrible warning to my nieces and nephews as each of them reached an age where their parents were concerned that they were now sexually active. “If Aunt M could get it, so can you!”
I now have two teenagers of my own. As much as I have stressed my belief in the importance of abstinence, I have also given condoms to both of them and explained that it is their responsibility to protect themselves. I also recently disclosed my status to both of them. I told them because I want them to realize that HIV is not something that happens to someone else. It’s here in OUR family. It’s on the sidelines of the football game and it’s on the volleyball court and at softball games. It’s at parent-teacher conferences and at the Mall and in grocery stores. It’s everywhere. And it does not always happen to “someone else”.
I often go on Poz.com to at least briefly connect with a community that relates to this life with HIV. I pre-ordered Ms Hofmann’s book I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU and read it cover to cover within a few hours. It’s currently making the rounds in my family. I highly recommend it.
I haven’t read Ms. Hoffman’s book, yet, but I just wanted to say that, just yesterday while I was purchasing a cup of coffee at the local Quick Trip, I chatted it up with an older gentleman (in his late 50′s) who seemed to be quite educated. He was actually trying to pick me up, but that’s not the point here. He asked what I did for a living and I told him I was the program coordinator for Healthy University. I had to explain what our program did, which is helping women with HIV/AIDS cope, etc. He asked, “How did you get into doing that?” I replied that I have been living with HIV for the past 20 years. He was shocked and said, “But you look so healthy.” I reminded him that you cannot tell if someone is HIV-positive by just looking at them. He then said, “I didn’t even realize people still got HIV.” My heart sank and my head spun. I was dismayed that 28 years later into this people are still in the dark. It was a sad day for me, but confirmed my belief that we, people who are positive, are very much needed to come out, speak up and get HIV back into view. This incident just really blew my mind. So much more for us to do… 28 years later and we’re still in the dark. It’s a shame.