Failing to use a condom is one of the top reasons sexually transmitted infections are on the rise for midlife adults.

When we heard that it was STD Awareness Month, we had flashbacks to the awkward high-school-health-class slide shows about sexually transmitted diseases. So when we learned that middle-aged adults have the highest incidence of certain sexually transmitted infections, including HIV, we were shocked. According to Michelle Sobel, co-founder of STDTestExpress.com and sexual health blogger on Unzipped, not enough is being done to educate sexually active adults.

“While it is important to focus STD education on teenagers, public-health initiatives have been ignoring older generations,” Sobel says. “We had to ask ourselves, ‘How do we educate people who do not see themselves as vulnerable?’ ” So why are we, as middle-aged adults, especially vulnerable? According to Sobel, there are four main reasons infections are on the rise.

1. Lack of condom use When menopause occurs, many women stop requiring condoms for their partners. Unfortunately, while pregnancy may no longer be an issue, the risk of infection is still a major concern. Regardless of how many sexual partners you have, experts say it’s best to use a condom every time.
2. Viagra People are living longer, and thanks to medical advances, having more sex. Since Viagra became available in 1998, one study found an 83 percent increase in STDs in widowed older men. The most common STDs affecting this group included gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes, HIV and HPV.
3. Online dating For middle-aged singles, online dating is often the most convenient way to meet new partners. Sadly, cyber dating and safety don’t always go hand in hand. One survey revealed that one in three women who meet men online have sex on the first encounter and four out of five of them do not use protection during sex.
4. The myth of monogamy Divorce rates are sky-high and extramarital affairs are becoming more and more common, both as news  — Tiger Woods, Eliot Spitzer and John Edwards, to name a few — and our own homes. Unless both parties in a marriage are unfailingly monogamous, STD risk is present.

The single most important thing you can do right now to protect yourself and your partner is to get an STD test. “Get tested once a year, even if you’re monogamous and married, just to be safe,” Sobel says. Even though many doctors won’t bring up the subject during your annual exam, Sobel recommends every woman get tested every year.

Sobel’s online service, STDTestExpress.com, helps you find a test center near you, so you can stop in for simple blood and urine tests, and get your results and consultation over the phone. “Many people are concerned about privacy and are too embarrassed to address this topic with their regular doctors,” says Sobel. “Plus, it’s more affordable than a doctor visit. You can get tested for everything for about $249 and it only takes 10 minutes.” To be tested for a specific STD may cost even less.

Whether you’re married or single, use a condom every time you have sexual contact and make sure you and your partner get tested. “Just think of it as the beginning of a trusting relationship. It’s just good practice,” says Sobel. “If we can change that culturally we’ve done a big thing.” We couldn’t agree more. For more information about sexual health concerns, check out our “Sex Fears” story in the March/April issue of VIVmag.

What’s your greatest sex fear?

Photo credit: Haitem

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