Making more time for sex can help you and your partner reconnect emotionally.

For a stretch of our teens and twenties, we found ourselves repeatedly dumped right after Valentine’s Day, before our rose bouquets had even wilted. (To their credit, the guys were decent enough to give us our walking papers after the holiday.) These days, we’re much better at picking partners, but now our current long-term relationship has us in a quandary: the Valentine’s Day dinner/flowers rut. In light of this, we rounded up some advice in preparation for Feb. 14. Here, our favorite expert tips:

Go red. This year, Valentine’s Day coincides with Chinese New Year, a holiday traditionally associated with luck, happiness and prosperity — as well as the color red. “[Red] is a symbol of good luck and sharing good fortune,” says Jami Lin, author of ColorAlchemy: Self-Mastery with the Endless Supply of Color (Earth Design Inc., 2008). To get in the spirit, try incorporating the fiery hue by donning red lingerie or writing a love note in red ink. “Sprinkle red rose petals on your bed and light red candles for added romance,” Lin says.

Set a goal. Scheduling your sex life on your iPhone or BlackBerry might not sound sexy, but busy couples often end up letting sex slip to the bottom of the priorities list. In the book Have Sex Like You Just Met …  No Matter How Long You’ve Been Together by Joselin Linder and Elena Donovan Mauer (Adams Media, 2009), a married woman discusses how she and her husband tried to have sex every day for 30 days. While the couple did skip a few days, they found themselves closer after rediscovering how to make time for each other. “I was happy to learn that those who made a point of reigniting their relationships found themselves closer than ever to their partners, and generally happier in their lives,” Linder says. “It is definitely worth it, even if it takes some effort.”

Bring sexy back. One of Linder’s favorite tips for revamping relationships is transforming the bedroom into “Club Sexy,” with rules such as no cell phones, granny panties or flannel pajamas. “It’s more fun than a bowling club and you don’t need funny shoes — or shoes of any kind,” Linder says. Removing family photographs and distractions, such as the TV, also can bolster the “clubhouse” vibe.

We think these are unique twists on the typical “spice things up in the bedroom” tips we’re barraged with this time of year. What do you think is key to keeping a long-term relationship fresh?

Photo credit: Haitem

Tags: author, cell phones, Chinese New Year, Earth Design Inc., Elena Donovan Mauer, English people, Film, iPhone, Jami Lin, Joselin Linder, Linder Sterling, Three Colours: Red, Valentine's Day