VIV Moments

Hometown

Los Angeles, CA

Joie de VIVre

Taking classes and learning new hobbies to better myself, styling and picking out makeup and clothes for my friends at their request, going to new restaurants and trying new food.

VIV Moment

My VIV Moment happened only two months ago, when I went into hyperthermic shock. I was rushed to the hospital and developed a syndrome called Stevens-Johnson syndrome. This syndrome happens to .000001% of the population. It is a rare, deadly skin disorder caused by medications. I was taking a light common antibiotic for acne. This is very ironic. Because of the medication, I then developed a skin disorder which causes lesions, and blisters and then leads to permanent scarring. (This all happened in the name of beauty, so that’s one lesson I learned: Don’t go overboard trying to look better — you could end up looking worse!)

SJS also causes blindness; you can also go deaf and, in many instances, you can die. I was in the hospital for about a week. As I was lying in bed in a painkiller haze, I overhead the doctor say, “Oh no, it’s on her face and possibly in her eyes.” I lay there and thought, “I may become blind because of this and look like a burn victim from the scarring or even die.” I have been so careful in my life and it didn’t matter. I am the kind of person who calculates everything. I am very careful about what I do. I overthink every situation in the present and future. If I am involved with a guy, for instance, I will go over every possible scenario in my head — good and bad. I always believed in life you have to be very responsible, cautious and sensible. If you exhibit those characteristics, then you’ll stay safe. That day, I realized no matter what you do you cannot control every situation. 

All sorts of thoughts and regrets went racing through my head. I didn’t have a partner because I was too apprehensive and focused on what could go wrong in a relationship. I hadn’t traveled to Europe because I focused on the dangers of traveling outside the country, etc. I had a glimpse of what it would be like as an elderly person on her deathbed, experiencing all the thoughts and regrets. When you are bedridden, all you have are your thoughts. It just hit me that my life could be very different from now on. I may look like a burn victim. I thought, “If I go blind, I will never see Europe.”

The doctors tell me now they are shocked they were able to reverse the syndrome. They tell me had I went to the hospital even 10 minutes later, I would have permanent scarring and possibly gone blind. I, of course, feel like something in the Universe gave me a second chance. The Universe was telling me to live my life and to stop being scared. Bad things can happen no matter what you do. I know it’s a cliché, but I realized I needed to stop overthinking and just live my life to the fullest.

Leave a Comment

Name

Email (will not be published)