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Los Angeles and Vancouver

Joie de VIVre

Acting, writing, volunteering, tennis, following a spiritual path.

VIV Moment

As an infant, my son was diagnosed as hydrocephalic (water on the brain) and at 7 weeks he was shunted. Now, at 23, he has two ventricular-peritoneal shunts. He is officially/legally disabled, but I raised him as if he was 100 percent healthy — NOT as a “handicapped” child.

He skied as a toddler and rode bikes in time; I did not shelter him except from contact sports like rugby, football and basketball. Instead, he became a champion rower and a runner, too. And he reaches out to others with similarly serious illnesses and more life-threatening conditions at a West Coast-based Hole in the Wall Camp called “The Painted Turtle.”

Sitting in my living room the other night, he said that he could immediately tell if the Painted Turtle kids he worked with were shunted. He then added, “Mom, it’s amazing, but unless I tell people, no one ever knows I am shunted myself.”

For me, a young mom who made it a point to not raise him as “handicapped,” it was a moment of pure triumph. Believe me, there was pressure to shelter him from all sorts of things, but I said, “No. This boy is whole and he deserves to be treated that way.”

Obviously, it worked; this handsome young man, a graduate of Brown, now works at E*Trade and is about to go to India to study emerging markets.

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