VIV Moments

Hometown

Huntington Beach, CA

Joie de VIVre

My husband and son, travel, understanding other cultures, science, event planning, and bringing people together.

VIV Moment

The adoption of our son, Slater David Carlos, has been the most challenging and rewarding event of my life. After a long recovery from three back surgeries due to an injury from my career as a nurse, it was clear that I would not be able to carry a child. I had given in to the fact that I would never be a mother and instead turned my nurturing energies into creating our surf film promotion company, Big Red Productions. It was my husband, Dave, who gave us the push to adopt.

Once the decision was made, we were in a whirlwind of paperwork, background checks, financial statements, health inspections, fingerprinting, home inspections, psychological testing, letters of reference, autobiographies and 25 recent photos of Dave and I in various “home situations.” All of this was just to start the process!

I was at a Rolling Stones concert when I got the call from Dave, telling me we had been matched with a baby boy, due in three months. There was still so much to do. Most women have nine months to prepare; we had a matter of weeks.

A conference call with the birth mother was arranged by the agency. We had a picture of her, and she had our photos and bio. She had chosen us. Wow. Out of the thousands of people registered, we were picked. We were so nervous, we didn’t want to say the wrong thing, but we also wanted to be truthful. We all agreed to an open adoption: We would be able to attend the birth and get to know the birth mother.

Two weeks before the due date, we met the birth mother in Provo, UT. What a beautiful place to have a baby! We took her fishing and got to know her, and she got to know and trust us. She could still change her mind at any time and decide to keep the baby. We had heard way too many stories of women changing their minds, so it was in our thoughts at all times. I don’t think this young girl realized how much was riding on her decision. There were so many people involved: both Dave’s and my family, our friends, our business, not to mention the financial commitment. We paid cash for everything: her housing, her medical care and, of course, the C-section birth and the newborn care.

On the day of the birth, we were all out of our skin with anticipation. The birth mother was cool enough to let us video the entire process; she even taped a speech for Slater to see when he is older explaining who she is and why she gave him up for adoption.

I was in the operating room with her and never left that beautiful baby’s side the minute he came from her belly. I helped the nurse clean him and it was me he saw the very first time his eyes were opened. This is my boy and he knew it. This was my VIV Moment.

The hospital was overflowing with births, so we were given a small room for the next three days to hold and care for our son. The birth mother was on the same floor, recovering from her surgery. We visited her often, though we were nervous she could still change her mind. We had grown to care for her very much, too. We were scared to become too attached, yet we couldn’t help ourselves, we were in love with our son. She had three days to sign the papers; once they were signed, she couldn’t change her mind, but it would still be six months before the adoption was final.

We returned home to California with our son a week after he was born. Our families and friends greeted Slater with a huge baby shower and all the love and support we needed. We were exhausted. It has been just over a year since we made the decision, and here we are today, with a gorgeous, vibrant son, I can’t imagine our life without him.

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